Somewhere Over The Rainbow

So here is the next chapter in my life....

Tuesday, November 11th

I realized according to my p tracker app that I was 4 days late. That is odd but heck, I'm 43 years old, early menopause maybe? I decided to pick up a test just in case. Before I took it I remember thinking...this is going to be a complete waste of a good test. Well, we received a big (potentially life changing) surprise....

Yes, that is a positive pregnancy test!  Holy s&$@!  This was completely unexpected.  My mind started racing.....I'm 43 old.  What were we thinking? Although, it's not like we were trying.  How did this happen?  I mean, I know but still.  And I am on drugs - Anti depressants and ADD meds. I drink alcohol...and caffeine....both probably more than I should.  I haven't been taking any vitamins. And let's not forget about what happened last time.

Deep breaths.

Ok, instead of calling my husband, I texted him...

Don't judge me - we both hate the phone.

Turns out, he was excited. Scared but excited. It's a baby and I have a good feeling about this, is what he said.  And he brought this home.  

A monkey for our monkey.  Love that man.

Immediately, took the vitamins and no more meds, caffeine or cocktails.  This is going to be super fun. 

Friday, November 11

After several days off my medications I was in pretty bad shape.  Luckily, I had an appointment already scheduled with my therapist for today.  I was a mess.  No hope, overwhelmed, feeling like I had the flu (withdrawal symptoms from one of the medications) etc.  She gave me some good news.  She "hoped" the symptoms would pass by Monday. That would be great.  She also reminded me to take it one day at a time.  Don't look so far ahead as that can be so overwhelming to your mind and that won't help my body feel better.  

So, that is what I am going to do.  I am going to focus on feeling better.  I am going to take my vitamins and be as healthy as I can be.  That is all I can do for this baby and myself, right?

Sunday, November 13

This girl is feeling so much better.  Thank G-O-D.  I could not go 9 months feeling like that.  Yuck.  My mood is still up and down (sorry honey) but physically I'm feeling so much better.

I indulged in hope today.  Hope that this pregnancy might turn into an actual baby.  This baby would be considered a Rainbow Baby.  What is a rainbow baby you may ask? It is a baby born after a loss of a previous child.  

Fast Forward.........

Wednesday, March 25th, 2015
I am now almost 24 weeks along with a due date on July 17, 2015.  The past few months have been nerve wracking.  I took many tests to be sure the baby was ok.  NT Scan - perfect.  MaterniT21 - normal.   AFP test - negative.  And too many ultrasounds to count.  All NORMAL :-)

First Appointment

Perinatal office
Our appointment here was exactly 2 years to the day that we went in and got the terrible news about Lila.  We were nervous but the baby measured normal.

...and we are having a boy!

Here I am at 20 weeks. 

Getting here has been really scary but I am feeling so good about where I am now.  At my age we would not have tried for another.  We are just lucky that God or the universe had other plans for us.