Spring Break

Spring Break is here...

My kids are on Spring break.  Although we are not going anywhere, my mom is in town and they are spending lots of time with her.

 I have such great memories of spending time with both of my sets of grandparents as well as great-grandparents.  I am glad the tradition is continuing with my own kids both with my mom spending time with them in the Phoenix and summer time in Michigan.

#1 Mom...
I am blessed with an amazing mom!  I feel so lucky in that she was able to be there for the birth of both of my children.  This truly is lucky since she lives in Michigan and I am in Phoenix...lucky she made it in time.
I was very nervous about being a new mom.  My mom stayed with me for the first few weeks of my daughters life.  She had to take care of both of us.

Mother knows best...
As a child I always felt like my mom knew everything.  No matter what, she just knew what to do.  Now, being a mother myself,  I realize that no mom always knows what to do.  Right?  We just do the best we can with what we know....and hope that we are doing the least amount of damage possible.

My mom is heading back to Michigan on Monday.  This weekend will be spent swimming, going to the zoo, a soccer game and just hanging out.  We are going to soak up as much Grandma time as we can.

Stuck in Grief

Good days and bad days...

Some days are better than others could be said in general about life but the words have a deeper meaning when you have lost a child.  There are days that really feel normal.  I can appreciate my beautiful kids, my loving husband and my happy life.  But.  I seem to still have many days when I can’t find that.  The sadness of grief is still deep.   I wonder when and if that will ever pass?

Paris...

I recently went to Paris for work.  I was able to do some sightseeing and it was amazing to see these historic monuments in person…the Eiffel tower, Notre Dame, The Louvre but I couldn’t help but feel a quiet sadness when I saw mothers with their babies in strollers.  Babies that were the age Lila would have been if she were here.

Grief...

I guess after a year I realize that the grief will probably never go away but I hope, as time goes by, I am better able to deal with it.

Maybe the grief helps you appreciate all the other amazing things about life and the experience of loving the child that never lived in this world.